Again. . .

Honestly, who is in charge of this child?

Sunbeams?

This is courtesy of Aunt Trudy:

A new intern, who had never lived in Utah and knew nothing about
Mormons, was struggling to understand the cultural climate.
He was interviewing a new patient and stumbled upon what he
thought was a raging psychosis.

Doctor: "Well, Mrs. Olsen, we've talked about your high blood pressure
and your medications. Are you experiencing any particular stress in
your life?"

Patient: "Oh, yes! It's the Sunbeams. They're driving me crazy."

Doctor: (Very surprised) "The sunbeams."

Patient: "Yes. I've never had trouble with them before, but this group
won't sit still. They bounce all over the room, and run out the door and down the hall."

Doctor: (Reaching for a pen) "Have you told anyone about this?"

Patient: "Of course. I told the president."

Doctor: "Really! What did the President tell you?

Patient: "She said Sunbeams are like that. I'm just going to have to
learn to deal with them."

Doctor: (Concerned that he may be missing something) "I know people
who are sensitive to sunbeams. Do they cause you to rash or anything?"

Patient: (Confused) "A rash? No."

Doctor: "What's the biggest problem they're creating?"

Patient: "It's the noise. They just won't quit talking."

Doctor: (Astonished) "The sunbeams are talking to you?"

Patient: "Well, yes. But mostly to each other."

Doctor (Scribbling furiously in the chart) "I see. Can anyone else
hear them talking?"

Patient: (After a moment of stunned silence) "You're not LDS, are you?"

Gretchen funnys

So the other day we are driving and Gretchen asks me about those blinking arrows telling you to merge and change lanes. I explain that they are telling you to scoot over because people are working on the road. She replies, "Cause if you don't follow Jesus, that's breaking the rules."

She is trying to carry toys from one room to another (because she can't play anything if she is more than 3 feet from me) and she says, "I wish I had three arms!" Amen to that! I could do wonders with another arm.

As we are making brownie mix, she states, "We can't lick that, huh, cause it has rotten eggs in it!"

Lotion, lotion, and more lotion

I don't know where this child's mother is, but maybe she should pay more attention!


Yes, two separate occasions, two separate days. And yes, both times it was Gretchen who discovered him and yells, "Mom! Mom! Come look at what Thatcher is doing!" His hair is still greasy. But I at least have learned how to make an awesome faux hawk! You just need 2 cups of heavy lotion in your hair and it will stand straight up!

Fall Break, Day 3

Day 3? That's it? Wow. Fall Break is feeling really long. I can't seem to remember what I did with Gretchen before she was in school all day. We've already cleaned, done laundry, gone to the store, the playground, what else? I can only be nice for so long. I need a break, before I break. And of course Chris worked late last night. Oh man.

Today we went swimming at our gracious neighbor's house. It was fun. She is probably the kindest soul I know, and I don't know her very much. She and her husband brought us a pizza on the day we moved in, and invited us to swim. She has said we can swim anytime! So that's fabulous, and we took her some brownies as a small token. She and her husband are empty nesters, and her elderly parents AND her handicap brother live with them. And her husband just had open heart surgery in the summer. So she pretty much takes care of them all. Wow. Maybe I should stop whining about my two little monsters?

Fall Break, Day One

Work Cinderellie work!

No playin' for these kids! Fall Break is about workin'!

Actually, after our party last night (another b day party for Thatcher) our floor needed some serious help. I gave these two their own sponges and a bucket and they went to town! I think it was the best fun they had all day!

Here are a few pics of the birthday boy enjoying his party. And by the way, he did AWESOME blowing out his candles! Yeah, he's pretty advanced for his age.

He LOVES motorcycles, and he hasn't been many places without them since.

Stickers rule! Man, that curly hair is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Saturday's Relief Society Conference

I went to the Stake Center on Saturday night for the General Relief Society Conference. It was really nice. They had a dinner afterwards and every ward talked about their summer humanitarian projects. I felt a little retarded cause I'm a LONER. Luckily a kind soul made space for me and invited me to join her. As often as is the case, I can't remember most of the talks, just that I felt the spirit. And that there are plenty of pregnant women and new babies in the stake that I wished I could hold! I have discovered people don't very often like handing their babies off to strange new women(me)! It's really too bad, cause I'm a great baby holder.

What I can recall from the meeting is from President Uchtdorf. He is a fabulous speaker and I feel like he honestly cares about me, even though we have never met! Creation and Compassion. Creation - basically improving upon anything I have been given. Beautifying my space, cleaning, planting gardens and plants. And compassion. One thing I know for certain is that as I wallow in my self pity of loneliness and 700 miles from my bestest friends and family, if I instead focus on doing something for others, I feel so much better. Wallowing doesn't really help much, although I seem to do it a lot! I'm grateful for the church and kind souls helping me to find my place!